


A Mundane World

by thatnerdemryn



Series: Em's Femslash February 2020 [15]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bursting Out of the Closet, F/F, Femslash February, First Kiss, Gay Awakening, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22811542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/pseuds/thatnerdemryn
Summary: Izzy always knew her brother was gay, but she never took the time to question her own sexuality. She figured finding a mundane would be the easiest way to start her journey of self-discovery.
Relationships: Isabelle Lightwood/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Em's Femslash February 2020 [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621414
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21
Collections: Shadowhunters 2020 Femslash February





	A Mundane World

From a young age, Izzy knew her brother was gay. She knew by the way his eyes lingered on Jace during their hours of training and the way he looked away when Izzy caught him red handed. She had spent a lot of time thinking about how sure Alec seemed about his sexuality. He never showed any interest in girls and hell, if it wasn’t for Jace, she would have thought he had no sexuality at all. But then there were other shadowhunters, male ones that Alec would smile a little more brightly at or take a second backwards glance at as they walked by. He never did that with the hoards of female shadowhunters constantly gawking in his direction. So, Izzy knew her brother was gay. 

It was her own feelings that threw her for a loop on most days. She spent so much time focusing on the way her brother looked at others, she didn’t realize how often her eyes would wander from shadowhunter to shadowhunter, uncaring of their gender. She knew her brother was gay, but she couldn’t quite figure out what she was.She appreciated the bulging muscles and strong backs of her male sparring partners almost as much as Alec did. But there were many days that she found herself just as intrigued by the more delicate lines of the female shadowhunters she’d encountered. Her eyes travelled more often than not up and down the long, lean legs of the women she trained with and stared just a little too long at their feminine curves. She felt it, even at that moment, when she crouched and swiped her leg to kick Aline’s feet out from under her and straddled her hips to pin her down. Their chests brushed and their breaths mingled and it was just _ too much _ . Izzy stood up like a shot and raced out of the room.

Izzy thought that she should be more panicked, though. The arousal raced through her as she touched herself in the shower and she didn’t feel anything different. She thought of long hair and dark eyes and curves and breasts and… She finished with a gasp, holding herself up with only a hand on the wall. She thought she should feel different, with this realization flooding through her, but she just felt like herself. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped her towel around her body as she looked at her figure in the mirror. 

The mirror image was foggy, so Izzy wiped her hand over her reflection and took a moment to study herself. She tilted her head as she gazed at her reflection. She had always considered herself beautiful in a pretty conventional way. She had long, dark hair that begged to be stroked and could pull off red lipstick better than anyone she knew. She knew the runes weren’t as sought after as they might be to mundanes, but her body otherwise was full and soft. She could see why people liked women.

As she got dressed in her most mundane outfit, she considered how to test the theory floating around her brain. She knew the Hunter’s Moon was off limits, too many downworlders to ruin her plan, but she knew of a mundane bar that Jace frequented accidentally on one of his midnight prowls. A bar filled with the only women in the world who didn’t seem to find Jace attractive. 

She pushed open the door to that bar and took in the women around her. She immediately noticed the diversity in the audience. She saw girls with skin tight dresses and high heels, girls with leather jackets and jeans, girls with flannels, with sweatpants, with backwards caps, with long hair, short hair, and every length in between. She hadn’t really noticed women that way before. She suppressed the unfamiliar urge to run and wandered further into the room, opting to head straight to the bar. She decided to take a seat next to a particularly harmless looking woman who had a very similar haircut to Jace and laughed to herself at her unconscious choice in companion. The woman looked over at her questionioningly and turned in her stool. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked as she gulped down the remainder of her beer. Izzy shook her head, suddenly more nervous than she had ever been around a woman, maybe even anyone. The feeling was new to her but, then again, so was most of the night. 

“You, uh, have the same haircut as my brother,” Izzy explained. The woman raised one eyebrow at her and Izzy thought she might have been offended by that. She held her hands out, grasping onto the woman’s arm and gulping when she felt the muscle underneath the flannel shirt. “No, it’s good! A good thing,” she continued and then shook her head again and let go of the woman’s arm like it was made of lava. She took a deep breath and looked into the woman’s eyes. “I think that haircut looks infinitely better on you than it does on him,” Izzy finished. She turned away, feeling thoroughly embarrassed and waved the bartender down to order herself a margarita. She heard soft laughter beside her and peeked back over at the woman. 

“I get that a lot,” she said as she held out her hand. “I’m Jules,” she introduced herself as Izzy connected their hands. She wasn’t sure why her hand all of a sudden felt clammy and her face felt hot. She figured it was just because of the new experience she was willing herself to have and shook it off. 

“Isabelle, Izzy,” she stuttered. She rolled her eyes at herself as the bartender placed the drink in front of her. She went to grab her wallet when she felt a softer than expected hand on her arm. 

“I’ve got this one,” Jules said as she ordered herself another beer. Izzy watched the bartender pour it and smirked as Jules winked at her causing a blush to flourish on the bartender’s cheeks. 

“You just have a way with girls, then. That makes more sense,” Izzy said, mostly to herself. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one who became immediately flustered by one look from Jules. Jules shrugged and placed her elbow on the bar, running a hand through the short strands of hair on top of her head. Izzy watched closely, more of that pesky realization flooding through her. 

“I have been told that, yes,” Jules commented. She bit down on her lip and sent a wink to Izzy. The familiar action had her shoulders relaxing. She could flirt. She had always been good at flirting and she figured that it couldn’t be much of a difference that the person in front of her was a woman. 

“So, Jules, you seem like you come here often,” Izzy started, cutting the last syllable abruptly when she realized how cliched and quite frankly ridiculous that sentence sounded. She was reminded of Jace and that was not okay with her. Jules laughed in response, her eyes skimming down Izzy’s body, barely noticable if Izzy wasn’t looking for it and then darting back up to her face. 

“I do. I know most other’s who come here and you’re new,” Jules said matter-of-factly. Izzy nodded and took a large sip of her drink, hoping it might make her capable of forming actual sentences this time around. 

“I am. To a lot of things.” Jules nodded and took another sip of her drink, her eyes boring into Izzy’s as she licked some foam off of her lips. The sight of it had an unexpected chill spiking up Izzy’s spine and she felt an urgent need to look away. She stared down at the bar, tapping her fingernails on the stained wood and biting down on her bottom lip. 

“This is one of those places that women go to find themselves,” Jules said as she turned in the stool and leaned her back on the edge of the bar. Izzy glanced over at her and Jules twirled her finger around like she was asking Izzy to turn. Izzy complied, a little too easily if she thought about it, and looked around the bar once more. She saw the beautiful women again, but just a little differently as Jules began to speak. “The girl over there, with the six inch red heels and the dress barely past her ass?” Jules said as she leaned her shoulder into Izzy’s and pointed. Izzy nodded and looked back over at her. “She comes here for 30 minutes, tops. She flirts with the butchest lesbain in here and takes them home. She kicks them out the next morning and comes back a month later for her next victim.” Izzy nodded and viewed the crowd again, finding a younger looking girl with a flannel tied around her waist and a backwards baseball cap. 

“And her?” Izzy asked as she felt her body relaxing. She thought it might have been from the warmth radiating through her arm as Jules pressed closer to her, leaning her head to get a better view of where Izzy was pointing. She nodded as Izzy finished off her margarita. 

“She’s… new. Ish,” Jules decided. “She started coming here a few months ago and always has a flannel and a baseball cap. She’s a definitive baby gay who is trying to find herself while at college. Her name is Amber and she’s here on a softball scholarship, of course,” Jules added with a chuckle. Izzy tilted her head in confusion, unsure what was funny. Jules rested a hand on Izzy’s thigh and squeezed as she threw her head back in more laughter. 

“What am I missing?” Izzy asked. She waited for Jules to move her hand, but she didn’t and Izzy found that she really didn’t mind. 

“Lesbians play softball. It’s just… what they do.” Jules shrugged and nodded toward the door as a woman with a very similar look to Izzy sauntered through the door. She scanned the room, her eyes resting on Jules for a moment longer than the rest before she walked to the back and leaned her hip against the pool table. 

“You know her?” Izzy inquired, a teasing smirk on her face as she peered at Jules. Jules shrugged and finished off her beer. She placed it on the table, removing her hand from Izzy’s leg and Izzy immediately missed the warmth. Jules tossed a few bills on the table before getting up and grabbing her jacket from off of the stool. Izzy looked at her, confused and just a little rejected. Then Jules held out her hand. 

“I know a lot of women. But I’d like to spend the night getting to know you,” Jules said. Izzy placed her hand in Jules’ and let her lead the way out of the bar. When the cold wind hit her face, she shivered noticeably. Jules placed her jacket over Izzy’s shoulders and Izzy looked up at her, realizing how much taller she was. It hit Izzy like a ton of bricks. 

“I’ve never…” Izzy started but Jules stopped her, tugging her hand and pulling Izzy into her chest. 

“I know a lot of women, Izzy. Many of them have never. Let me try something,” Jules requested as she raised her unoccupied hand and pushed a strand of hair from Izzy’s face, tucking it behind her ear. Izzy couldn’t stop her eyes from widening when Jules leaned in. It was a move she had been a part of many times, from almost every man she kissed, but from Jules it felt so different. Different in a way she couldn’t explain and didn’t care to think too much of. But when their lips touched, she felt the fire ignite within her. The soft lips on hers tasted vaguely of cherry and the tongue in her mouth tasted just as sweet. Her eyes drifted closed and her hands grabbed the edges of Jules’ open flannel, tugging her closer. 

Izzy hadn’t given kissing a girl much thought before that moment. Well, she hadn’t given it much thought until she laid eyes on Jules, if she was honest with herself. At that moment, she couldn’t imagine never kissing a woman again. Their lips slid together slowly, delicately, neither of them in any rush to deepen it. Izzy thought about where a man's hands would be after kissing for this long. Probably on her ass or inching up toward her chest, but Jules had hers resting on Izzy’s hips. Her thumbs were tracing small circles on the small amount of skin peeking out from underneath her shirt and the softness of it had Izzy’s head dizzy. She pulled away, suddenly overcome with this new feeling rushing through her. She leaned her forehead against Jules’ shoulder and took a deep breath in an attempt to balance herself once more. 

“Now you have,” Jules said softly as she pushed Izzy’s face up with a soft nudge under her chin. Jules was smiling at her, a friendly smile with barely any hunger or lust in her eyes. Izzy tilted her head and bit down on her lip, pulling in the taste of Jules once again. 

“Do you just go around kissing girls to help them realize how much better the other half lives?” Izzy asked, only a little bit jokingly. Jules let out a laugh and wrapped her arm around Izzy’s shoulders as she ushered her down the street. 

“I kiss girls who look like they want to kiss me. And then I bring them to my favorite diner and talk to them about their favorite family memories and where they would be if there were no boundaries in their way,” Jules said as she stopped them in front of a rundown diner Izzy didn’t recognize. She pushed open the door and raised an eyebrow at Izzy. “You in?” Jules asked. Izzy beamed at her and nodded before stepping through the door, very ready for whatever other firsts the night had in store for her. 

**Author's Note:**

> Gay panic Izzy is a thing I didn't know I needed. I hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Feel free to shout at me on [Tumblr](https://archeryandeyeliner.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thatnerdemilyj).
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like it and comment to make me smile.


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